Being In-between Queer/Jewish

As Emet and I have settled into Denver, we've make a huge effort to get involved in the Jewish community and find a place there with friends, knowing where to daven, and soon, to continue learning. It has been easy - Emet's connected through the day school and we go to services almost every week at a different synagogue.

At the same time, we haven't spent so much energy on getting involved in the queer community. We have excuses - time, distance, being tired after a long day - but for some reason, this week, we didn't need any excuses.

We visited Charlie's this week, a queer country dance bar. There are all sorts of interesting people there, many in cowboy boots, hats, and denim, but also one woman in a 1950s petticoat dress, (because it was zombie crawl night) many people wearing zombie gear, and a few in drag.

They have free dance lessons at 8 and you get a free drink for participating. Then, the country music continues and everyone seems to know the dances. We are working on two-step and a waltz, and at some point, we want to go to the lesson to learn the line dances.

I felt that the place is just amazing. It's not a I-have-to-grind-into-you-in-order-to-dance kind of place. People were just out there having fun.

I bring it up because the topic of straddling two worlds/communities has come up a lot lately. As observant Jews, it makes sense for us to be involved Jewishly, but at the same time, as queer Jews, we want to be out and involved in queer spaces, too. Often, the two can't/don't mix and we're forced to choose.

It's been a while since I had gone to a gay club, and it's both comforting and isolating. We deal with very different issues compared to other observant Jews and other queer people, and it's hard to figure out where we fit 100% of the time. 

We are determined to try our best to be involved in both, but it definitely isn't easy. Even so, I wouldn't change it for the world.