Things I Learned About Being a Wedding Guest from Planning my own Wedding

I learned a lot about weddings while Emet and I planned our own. Not only have I become more familiar with how to plan one, but I've also begun to understand how to be a better guest.

1. Send out a save the date!
We were a little untraditional and sent out save the dates almost six months in advance. We decided this was a good thing because half of our guests would be coming from out of town, and it's important to be early in booking hotels and flights. Our guests really appreciated the early save the date, since many had already made plans for that weekend! You don't have to send it out as early, but it actually worked out really well for us!

2. It's important to RSVP correctly and to notify the couple immediately if anything changes.
We were thrilled that people started telling us early on if they were coming, but it was hard when they notified us that they weren't coming. Not only were we sad they couldn't come, but it changed our numbers. We were so unsure how to estimate numbers for our caterer, but it all worked out in the end. We abided by the 5% rule. When our RSVP date passed, we took that number and subtracted 5%. Plus, we didn't count all the children as full adults, and even with a few people not coming the day of the wedding, we ended up having the perfect estimate. We never thought that people who had RSVP'ed would change their mind or get sick and not be able to come, but that happens a lot. I'll make sure as a guest at someone's wedding to be sure to RSVP on time and let them know if something changes ASAP.

3. Planning a wedding is hard. Don't complain.
You never know how many people you can invite or how to fit everyone at the tables. One thing I've learned is not to complain! Especially not to the couple getting married. We had limits on the people we invited because it's expensive to have a big wedding and we didn't want to spend an exorbitant amount. So, of course, we didn't invite absolutely everyone. That would be insane and ridiculous. People were invited because we wanted them there, but we also couldn't invite everyone we would have liked. The couple should never feel bad about not inviting people or inviting certain people to the wedding. It's their decision. I know that just because we invited people to our wedding does not mean an automatic reciprocal invite. You never know the couple's finances or limitations. It's best to be grateful if you were invited and not to feel hurt if you weren't.
From figuring out table assignments, I realized that the couple getting married should not have to worry about if this person gets along with that person at a table. The point of the event is to celebrate the couple getting married and that as a guest at any wedding, I am not the center of attention. If I have issues with people at a table, I need to put those aside or simply be cordial.

4. I will always bring a card to the wedding, and if I am sending a gift after the wedding, I will be sure to notify the couple's parents or the couple themselves so they know to expect it in the mail.
We were completely surprised and humbled by the gifts people gave, especially those who came from out of town. It was most helpful to us when people notified that they would be sending something after the wedding. We knew to expect it in the mail. We didn't want a card to be lost. The worst thing is thinking that you lost a card or gift from a guest.

5. Enjoy it!
It is so exciting to share in the joy of two people making a public statement to join two families. It's an honor to be invited, and it's a pleasure to enjoy everything. Knowing all the work that goes into planning a wedding, I know that I will be extremely grateful in the future for any wedding I'm invited to.