In August 2014, we moved to Denver where Emet got a job in the Jewish community. We debated whether to live within the eruv or not and decided that it was better to live closer to Emet's school for practical reasons of sharing a car.
We began going to a conservative synagogue. While we weren't exactly excited about the davening, we had become accustomed to services without much ruach (spirit) and thought that it was not bad. We were prompted welcomed by the rabbi and community members. I remember on the first time that we went to this shul, there were a few other adults in our age range (some with young kids), and they were thrilled to chat with us and get us involved.
We became involved with an independent minyan (Minyan Na'aleh), and the first time we went for services, it was in someone's home without a mechitzah; kids were running around or involved in the service, but not bored, and the davening was absolutely beautiful. We met other young adults without kids and some with, and it felt amazing to connect with people who loved and enjoyed davening and accepted us, as a queer couple, wholeheartedly. The minyan met only once a month on Friday nights and a handful of times on Saturday mornings. We loved the community members and the davening, but were sad that it wasn't more consistent.
With the High Holidays approaching, we decided to go to Rosh Hashanah at this conservative synagogue, Kol Nidre with the independent minyan, and Yom Kippur at a conservative synagogue that had alternative services. We had heard about Shir Hadash from a friend of ours who studied with us at Pardes, and we gave it a try. Not only was I blown away by the beauty of the singing, I also enjoyed the rabbi's sermon on inner reflection and change and there were many young people in attendance.
We found out that Shir Hadash met weekly on Saturday mornings, and going to services there became our default Shabbat morning. The rabbis invited us for holidays and Shabbat, and I felt that we had found something similar to a community that we wanted. We also tried the Reconstructionist shul, which had different prayers but was run by a lesbian rabbi and made us feel at home.
At the same time, we started the Community Bet Midrash, which was about six of us young adults in our 20s and 30s who got together once a month to learn texts. It fulfilled a need of learning for us, and we met consistently until summer rolled around. By that time, we also knew that we were moving to Atlanta, and it was harder and harder to stay involved.
Being involved in Denver gave me a taste of what community could be like, but it still wasn't exact. Having Shabbat in our own way was great, and it was interesting to see how different everyone in our friend group celebrated Shabbat. Would we ever find a community that emphasized Shabbat and davening and also embraced us as a couple? I think we were pretty darn close in Denver.
Now in Atlanta, we are still learning, still exploring, and still trying to meeting friends. As it is much bigger of a city than Denver, the advantage is that there are many more synagogues to try, but the disadvantage is that there are many more synagogues to try along with the uncertainty of finding a community of queer Jews in our age range and life place. Even so, we're doing our best. Perhaps in a few more months, I will have a better understanding of where to find what we are looking for.
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