My mom and I had been searching for a wedding dress since I got back from Israel that both fit my style and my budget. We had only found two options, but they weren't great. One still required sleeves to be added, and the other was so large that tailors we have called told us not to get it. So, we kept looking.
I didn't know how difficult it would be to find a dress that was modest and fairly simple that also fits in my budget. I guess if I wanted to spend $1000 on a dress, I would have more options, but actually I have found that the more expensive the dress, the gaudier it is. I was something elegant and timeless, nothing poofy, not a lot of fabric, and I don't care for a train. We wanted to get something off the rack, both for budget reasons and because Emet and I will be leaving Atlanta soon and it would be better to have something before leaving for LA.
We have looked at bridal gowns, bridesmaids dresses, prom dresses, and even quincinera dresses. Not much luck unless we wanted to order from China, and we weren't sure how reliable those are, either.
Finally, we decided we will stop in to Bridals by Lori (yes, the one from Say Yes to the Dress) because it is around the corner from my house and it had a dress that I liked online. I figured we would see the dress that I liked online and if it worked, then maybe we would find a reputable place to order it online. Instead, we found the dress, I said Yes to the Dress, and I walked out with my dress purchased from Bridals by Lori. They have been fabulous so far - we wanted to add something to the order, and it was no problem, and the salesperson called to make sure the color of the ribbon is what I wanted. I'm happy!
Finding a modest wedding dress is no easy feat, especially if you are on a budget. I've realized the wedding dress shopping is ridiculous, wedding dresses tend to be outrageous (and often ugly), and the industry can charge you a lot of money just because it says "Bridal."
When looking for a modest wedding dress, here are my suggestions:
1. Look online for LDS wedding dresses. The Mormons have similar modesty rules as Orthodox Jews, and they have a lot more online stores, specifically - LatterDayBride, A Dressy Occasion, LDS Bridal Gowns, Totally Modest, and AltaModa Bridal. They have a lot of different styles and budget options. I also looked at Watters, Allure Modest, and other brands that I found had sleeves.
2. Consider bridesmaids or other special occasion dresses. I found that there were more options for sleeves on bridesmaids and special occasion or formal dresses. Plus, they are less expensive than wedding gowns.
3. You can look at bridal stores, but don't expect to find anything. I looked at David's Bridal and at least another 4 or 5 other bridal stores in the Atlanta area. None had anything in my size, my budget, or my style. I tried on a LOT of dresses and quickly became discouraged. But we kept looking, and I tried on everything that was even remotely close or far from what I wanted. If it was my size, I tried it, even the ones I thought were very ugly.
4. Look into a custom made dress. If you can't find anything, see how much it would be to have a custom made dress. If you know someone who sews, you're in luck! Ask them to do it as your wedding present or offer to pay them back in-kind if you can't afford it all. I found that having a custom gown was just as expensive as buying a new gown, but I didn't know anyone who sewed.
5. Be optimistic. I didn't think that I was going to find anything. For weeks, I scoured the internet to find the style I liked, and then I spent time feeling discouraged that there wouldn't be anything out there. Despite that, I found exactly what I wanted - not at a place I expected, though. You never know where you might find it.
