As someone who tries to be more observant, sometimes it's just hard. I wonder if other people struggle with this, and I know they do, but it just seems so easy for some people.
We choose to spend Passover with family. It just doesn't feel the same without them. But at the same time, neither of our families are as observant as we are. I'm not faulting anyone. It's just the way it is. This means that their homes aren't as kosher as we'd like and they don't keep Shabbat how we do. This complicates things. During Pesach, even if we choose to avoid chametz, they won't necessarily avoid it, so there's bread, not only in the freezer, but there's a bagel being made for a child (it smells so delicious just out of the toaster), hot dog buns with our meal, or a request to eat out because we're all tired of the seder leftovers.
It's hard. Do you put your foot down and say no? Or do you carefully do your best, knowing you'll make a mistake? You can attempt to eat gluten free at a restaurant, but forget that something might be breaded. Or as a vegetarian, I'll be extremely limited because many of my food options are taken away during Pesach. We met some friends at a kosher restaurant in LA, and they had no vegetarian options. Seriously? None? Just a smattering of pickled and spicy vegetable side dishes.
I'm too hard on myself. I'm doing the best I can. Family is more important than halacha in my opinion, but I know not everyone takes that opinion. We are more flexible in our observance, and some people might judge us for that. But you know what? We are also a queer couple and some will definitely say there's no way we can be observant. We do the best we can in the way we can for what is meaningful to us. Isn't it all about meaning anyway?
