Modesty, Fashion, and Wedding Dresses

I've always been uncomfortable showing a lot of skin - wearing short skirts/shorts, or having low-cut shirts - and I haven't been the most fashionable person in the class. I've had clothes of varying styles over the years, but I typically would wear similar clothes for extended periods of time until those few outfits got worn out or stretched out or didn't fit anymore. Coming to Israel in 2012 and becoming more observant over the last year and a half has absolutely influenced my style and choice of clothes I like.

When I came to Israel, I knew only that people who are Orthodox Jewish cover their bodies almost completely. Now, I'm not even sure why I thought that was, except maybe because it was improper to show skin because of an idea of being ashamed of our bodies. How wrong I was! That summer, my education of modest dress began.

I previously owned only one or two very fancy skirts. I didn't like wearing skirts or dresses, and I only wore them when I dressed up for a fancy occasion. When I decided to come to Israel, I knew I would be around religious people and I knew that gender conformity was important to them. So I played the part and began buying and wearing skirts and dresses. I wasn't properly prepared to cover my arms to my elbows that summer, and I had sweaters that I wore over my tops. I got used to being hot all the time in a house with no air conditioning and being outside a lot of the time. I also got very comfortable with wearing skirts. I had no idea how amazing a skirt is in summer.

Midway through my religious program in August 2012, I decided to buy a shell, a lightweight undershirt that goes from your collarbone to passed your elbow. They also have long-sleeve ones. They are great for layering and help you stay cool, relatively, in the summer. It's much better than wearing a sweater over that shirt that isn't modest enough. I had no idea how amazing it would be to wear the shell under my tops and my dresses. I didn't have to worry if my shirt was too low for my own standards (being scared that when I'm not looking something might show that I don't want to!) or if I was being modest enough for the community I was in. I also invested in some leggings which were great. I could wear skirts without worrying about them being too short or blowing up during windy days.

A Shell by KikiRiki on Amazon.com

As the year went on and I was no longer around an Orthodox community, I was still in a conservative community. I was living in an Ethiopian Israeli community and it was important that I also maintain modesty. Getting that understanding of how to dress modestly in August was a good foundation.

At the same time, I was thinking more and more about how I wanted to be perceived and how I felt wearing more feminine clothes. I felt comfortable covering up, first of all. Second of all, I loved how I didn't get the attention from men. They assumed I was religious and so they didn't talk to or look at me. It was so freeing. It was a way, too, for me to outwardly present that I was becoming more observant and more conscious of how my present myself to others.

I feel that the way I try to dress now makes me recognize that my body is my own. Even more so than before. I feel that my body is only for me (and my partner) and it makes me feel good to cover my body in clothes that are comfortable and modest.

That being said, I started thinking about my own sense of style, what I want my style to be, and what kind of wedding dress I want to wear. More on that later!